(I spent the weekend talking about the car I’m getting as a graduation present)
Last week I picked up my cap and gown. And promptly hid them. I don’t want what happens in a month. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to be a full-fledged adult. I don’t know the last time I was this terrified of what comes next. Mainly because I don’t know what happens next. My entire life, I’ve always known the next step. And now, come June 14, there’s nothing. It’s like I was driving down this road, all nice and steady, and suddenly there’s no more road. I’m falling off the cliff. Kinda like the scene with young Kirk in the recent Star Trek movie:
Only I feel like I’m going over. That swan dive to keep me from falling off the cliff is missing.
It’s scary. This is not even CLOSE to how I imagined what my life would be like. I imagined that after I graduated I would have a job and be getting married and have everything figured out. I don’t think I took a wrong turn though. I just think I’m taking the scenic route.