Quitters never win…

except when they quit awesomely.

I tend to know the more random, off-beat news. I first caught wind of the Steven Slater/JetBlue epicness on Sunday. And I laughed. Hard. And then tried to figure out how this could become a Lifetime movie or something because I need that in my life.

If you haven’t heard, Steven Slater was a JetBlue flight attendant (is that the PC term?). The Pittsburg to JFK flight had its moments from the beginning when two passengers got into a disagreement over an oversized bag and a overhead bin. Slater allegedly was hit in the head with the bag then, and then was continued when the flight landed and the bag wasn’t immediately available after it had been gate checked, and the woman cursed Slater out. Or, none of that happened, and it all happened after the flight had landed and passengers were told to stay in their seats. And Slater allegedly became angry after a woman didn’t listen and he got hit in the head then. Basically, dude got hit in the head with a bag at some point and a passenger used multiple curse words while talking to him. And then the magic happened.

According to prosecuters, Slater announced “Those of youwho have shown dignity and respect these last 20 years, thanks for a great ride,” (the version first reported by the New York Daily News was a little differernt, reporting that Slater really said, “To the passenger who called me a motherf—er, f–k you! I’ve been in the business 28 years. I’ve had it. That’s it.”) grabbed two beers from the galley, deployed the emergency slide, hopped on an AirTram to his car and went home to Queens. The police found him there, seemingly in the middle of sexual relations. Slater was arrested 2nd-and 4th-degree criminal mischief, 1st- and 2nd-degree reckless endangerment and criminal trespass in the 3rd degree. If convicted, he could go to jail for seven years.

However, Slater is looking good in the court of public opinion. As of 3:06 today, he has 135,720 likes on Facebook. Either a bunch of people, like me, are amused endlessly by the story, or can relate to Slater, and wish they could do what he did.

He even got the Taiwan CGI reenactment treatment. This is big time stuff!

Next up, we have Jenny. Jenny quit her job via a 33-picture essay involving the creative use of a white board, emailed to her co-workers. Her messages called out her boss, explained that no one in the office liked him and that she didn’t appreciate being called a “HPOA” by him behind her back. And oh yeah, he plays 19.7 hours of Farmville a week.

Sadly, this morning I woke up to the news that “Jenny” is really an actress and that it was all a hoax. But I’m just waiting for someone to copy this for real. It would be an epic way to quit. If you don’t have an emergency slide to make you grand exit on.

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