I don’t wanna see you go…

I’m hoping that the good old days/are something that I will dream about at night/Don’t matter if it’s soon or later/I know that it’s gonna be alright!

I don’t wanna see you go/But it’s not forever/Not forever/Even if it was, you know/That I would never let it get me down!/You’re the part of me/That makes me better/Wherever I go!/So I will try/Not to cry/No one needs to say goodbye! -Days of Summer, A Very Potter Sequel

It’s come to my attention recently that I’m an adult. It’s not the paralyzing fear of not having a job or money or any clue where I’ll be living in 2 weeks that made me come to this realization (cause you know…as a kid you don’t care about these things). It’s the fact that I go on Facebook and see people and I have to think about who they are. Not because I don’t know them in the world. It’s because they’ve changed their name because they’re married. And their profile pictures are babies. And when I go home, no one lives there any more. Even here in Columbus, no one is around anymore. Everyone’s spreading out and beginning their adult lives. And as I’ve said goodbye to people over the past few months, there has always been a lingering thought: this is quite possibly the last time I will ever see this person. People that have become my friends over the past few years. Some of them that I’ve seen at least weekly, and some I’ve lived with. And suddenly I don’t see them anymore.

In these days of social media, between blogs and Twitter and Facebook and email, it’s easy to keep in touch, at least passively with these people. But then they’re not really a part of my life. And whoa, what a change. I know this is not a new phenonemon, and it’s something that’s going to keep happening all my life. People will come and go.

Goodbye: interj, used to express an acknowledgment of a parting. noun, an act of parting or leave-taking. Alteration (influenced by good day) of God be with you. – American Heritage Dictionary

Nerd alert: I thought this was cool, especially the etymology

We like to say “it’s not goodbye, it’s just see you later” or some variation of that. Which is kind of silly. Because it IS goodbye, regardless if we are seeing each other in 2 hours, or never again. We ARE parting. The most important thing from this experience is that many of these people are always going to be there. They may not be there physically; I may never talk to them or see them again, but they’ll be there.

It’s the fact that they’ve become a part of me in some small way. A first (kiss, drink, bar, football game, basketball game, concert…), a shared fandom, a trip, a class, that one conversation we had that one time…those experiences and those memories have shaped me. And it may come to a time where I have to think really hard about their name and realize that I haven’t talked to them or seen them in years, but that doesn’t make them any less important to me.

So to all of my friends, and even casual acquaintances I’ve met over the past 4 years, and before that: God be with you. Know that you will never be that far away from me. Whether you know it or not, you’ve left a mark on me.

(This babbling post comes to you thanks to having to say goodbye to @opazazzyzen, who I’ve had an interesting history with over the past 4 years. We met at orientation, ended up as roommates, had a falling out, didn’t talk for a year and yet, she ended up becoming a great friend. She’s moving to San Fransisco this week and is going on to do amazing things. Good luck!

Also, I tried not to cry. No one should be surprised that I failed at that.)



Filed under About Me, Ohio State

2 responses to “I don’t wanna see you go…

  1. I’ll admit it, I teared up. I’m really going to miss you Jessica! It’s rare that you find friends who you have SO MUCH in common with.

    Come to San Francisco anytime!

    • jesslyn8706

      You cried…Katie wanted to cry…I cried the other day during that 3 minute car ride to my aunt’s, and writing this, and editing this…there’s lots of crying going on!
      As soon as I get a job, and find a way not to be terrified of flying…I’ll be there!

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