Describe the first person who broke your heart. And if you could take revenge on them now, would you? Did you ever think about it? What would you say to them now if you met them on the street?

(Retroactively posted 7/14. And personal, so feel free to skip.)

I could say my high school boyfriend. It was one of those we’ve known each other forever, and it turned into this thing, very naturally (kind of. It was a long process.)

But that would be a lie.

Not because I wasn’t devastated when we broke up.

It’s because it was my fault. It’s funny how hindsight, and 5 years puts everything into perspective.

This is the first time that I’ve said that outloud. Or at least put it out there for the universe to hear.

For being in communications, I’m a really crappy personal communicator at times. I forget to talk to people close to me. That’s what lead to hearbreak. For me at least.And I hope for him. I hope he cared enough to be sad when it was over.

I don’t think that there is any reason for revenge. But I do think about it. Often, lately, for some unknown reason.

I’ve seen him various places. I always had these confusing emotions. I think I know what they were now. Guilt. We’ve talked. Not about anything important, but that time has long passed. I have wanted to apologize for the way that I acted, but like I said, times moved on.

I’m lucky, then I guess. I’ve only broken my own heart. And that’s easier to handle. Because you can change it next time.

And I will.

 

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2 Comments

Filed under About Me, PostAWeek

2 responses to “

    • jesslyn8706

      Thanks. I was terrified writing this, and then wasn’t going to post it because it felt too livejournal-ly. But I figured hiding it under a cut works. And since my blog is about my journey, I figured it fits.

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