Hi. I’m alive. (this isn’t a comment I’ve made before…) I really do need to start updating regularly. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Maybe this is a good time to make that resolution. It’s not a new year. Except it is. It’s my last night as a 24-year-old. And for the first time since I turned 19 (my freshman year of college) that I’m optimistic. I’m not completely happy – I’m still not happy about certain relationshippy type things (not just pertaining to the opposite sex) – but god, am I so much better than I was a year ago. Two years ago. I kept saying I wasn’t depressed. Except now, I think I was. Some of you might have seen that more than I did. It was a hard time. I felt alone. Like I didn’t know what was coming next, where I was going. I watched my friends and peers pass me by.
Twenty-four failures /And twenty-four tries / Twenty-four finds me / In twenty-fourth place
But right now, I see the light. I have a job that, while completely unlike anything I could have imagined doing, I love. I’m back in a city that I love. I’m preparing to move into a new apartment with my little sister, who is honestly one of my best friends. And I feel healthier than I have in a long, long time.
And I’m a completely different person than I was the last time I was that happy. I’m finally comfortable in my own skin, being exactly the person that I am. I’m the girl who loves Jane Austen, auto-racing and Broadway. I’m an anglophile who loves country music. I’m a little weird and I love it.
This year, I’m HAPPY going into my birthday. It’s an odd, but not unwanted feeling. So bring on 25. I have a feeling it’s going to be a pretty great ride.
The ending of an era and the turning of a page / Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here / Lord have mercy on my next thirty years