Hope is a waking dream


I had a dream last night that I can’t shake. It’s been in the back of my mind all day. It was one of those vivid dreams. I woke up crying because of it. 

I was sitting in an auditorium, with a bunch of other people. A lot of couples. But I was alone. There was a presentation and then little kids, and they either chose us or we chose them. They were ours and we were theirsAnd a little girl chose me. And for a moment, I was so happy. Then more people came into the room. And this little girl and I knew that one of the couples that came in were supposed to be hers, not me. And as much as I didn’t want to, I let her go. And there were tears and that’s when I woke up. 

What a way to start my day. 

I don’t place a lot in to dreams, but since this has stuck with me so much today (what, I’m not crying again), I can’t help but wonder. Has my subconscious realized that my dream, my one true dream of being a mom, is probably not going to happen? I know I’m still young in the grand scheme. But is it better to realize that I’m not going to get everything (anything) that I thought I was going to have when I was younger (or even five years ago) than to keep hoping? 




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