I have the worst buyers remorse. Seriously, ask me to make any big decision, and I will debate it for ages. And after I’ve committed to it – I spend so much energy fretting to and fro. I’ve never been one big on going with my gut. Or I guess, trusting my gut.
I reason, make pro/con lists, reason some more. Come up with a whole lot more pros and cons.
Make a decision. Commit to the decision. Try and figure out how to get out of the commitment. And then, at some point, I accept the decision.
Realize that my gut was right.
Honestly, so much energy could be saved if I just went through with my gut.
This last week, I spent so much energy debating what is essentially a promotion. WHO DOES THAT?
(Answer – me)
It is really hard to say goodbye to a job that I owned – since I started, it was a part-time, 24 hour position that had very few responsibilities. It’s now a full-time position with programs I just enacted/got the hang of – monthly volunteer newsletters, advisory committees, organization, and a ton of other little details. It’s going to be hard to see someone else in that role, changing the things that worked so hard on. Maybe doing better at them. Maybe not.
I’m also terrified, as usual, about starting something new. About messing up – both at the job, and my professional career. I seem to be getting further away from the things I once said I wanted to do. And I don’t know how I feel about that. On one hand, I love my job. On the other… Hopefully I can find things to do that will keep me connected to my roots – social media and writing. Those were the things I enjoyed cultivating. And I still have ideas I want to share and develop.
But my gut told me that I would be dumb for passing this up. So did my reasoning. So I’m going ahead. And hopefully, I can start trusting my gut more and more.
On the other hand, my gut told me that flying for the first time and flying alone for the first time were two things that should happen together (two birds, one stone) for someone who has a fear of flying. I feel like I should have used my reasoning skills for that…