Category Archives: Music

Do It Anyway

Call it surrender but you know that that’s a joke /And the punchline is you were never actually in control /But still, surrender anyway 

Guys, let’s be honest – this song was going to win me over based on the video with the combination of Anna Kendrick + Chris Hardwick + Fraggles. But then I heard the song – 1. the tune is incredibly catchy 2. the lyrics are kinda cool and Jessica’s across time appreciate them.

Go on and do it anyway 

It’s kinda become a motto.

At times.

I used to not do much. I was afraid of failing, so I wouldn’t try anything new. I was afraid of disappointing myself, or more importantly, someone else.

I still don’t always “do it anyway”. But I have to admit – I’m becoming more adventerous in my old age. I used to not be one to climb out on a limb. If things terrified me – that was it. I wasn’t going to do it, try it, go near it. I still have my hang ups – but I’m going to think twice about saying no.

Tell me what I said I’d never do /Tell me what I said I’d never say /Read me off a list of the things I used to not like but now I think are ok 

I used to be scared of flying. I don’t ENJOY it, but I don’t mind it.

If I didn’t know what a food was I wasn’t going to try it. Now I attempt to eat it – unless there’s peppers, mushrooms or onions. I still don’t like it.

I wanted to be comfortable in the middle. Now I strive to put myself out on a limb (one not far from the ground) to attempt to make myself stand out a little – at work and in life.

I used to hate sci-fi. Then I watched Eureka and Firefly and Battlestar Galalatica.

I was terrified going on a date (especially via an online site) – he was going to be a douche; he was just in it for physical aspects (or worse, he was and then immediately changed his mind after seeing me); I wasn’t going to be attracted to him. Okay – I’m not doing this with a lot of people; just one and it’s seemed to work out okay so far.

I was scared of going out of my comfort zone – doing something I hadn’t been doing my entire life.  I wasn’t progressing anywhere in my life. Because I was afraid of failing – now I’m willing to try. Even if it turns out it wasn’t the right thing in the end.

And if you’re paralyzed by a voice in your head /It’s the standing still that should be scaring you instead 


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Everything Will Be Just Fine

When I get back on land/Well I’ll never get my chance/Be ready to live and it’ll be ripped right out of my hands/Maybe someday we’ll take a little ride/We’ll go up, up, up and everything will be just fine

And we’ll go up, up, up/But I’ll fly a little higher…

You may have caught this on my hiatus. And if not, take the time to digest this story. I’ll be here, tissues in hand.

Rainn Wilson (Dwight from the Office) has this thing called Soul Pancake it’s a new media company that provides various platforms to explore topics such as spirituality, creativity, religion, arts, and philosophy. And one of the things that Soul Pancake has done is create this youtube series called My Last Days. It features people who know that the end is imminent, along with their friends and family. Zach Sobiech was one of the featured stories. He was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a bone cancer, at 14. At 17, Zach knew he was going to die.

It’s hard to know what you would do in a similar situation; how you would face your mortality at an age where you should be figuring out who you’re going to prom with; where you’re going to college; what you’re going to do with your life.

I have enough of a problem with my own mortality and I have a decade on Zach. And for me, the end isn’t spelled out. I have trouble living in the moment and enjoying it.

But Zach? Zach lived and enjoyed the moment. He went to school, he had a girlfriend, he had dreams. He didn’t stop living until the end.

One of his dreams was to be a recorded musician. He did that. And not only did he do that, but he wrote an incredible song – a goodbye to his friends and family. One that was without a doubt incredibly personal and intimate. But he shared it with the world.

And every time I listen to this song, I’m reminded of Zach’s grace and dignity. I appreciate the way that he acknowledges the darker, less happy moments. After all, it IS an incredibly frightening time – but you can tell he’s at peace. And I’m reminded of the same attitudes and the grace and dignity I’ve seen in others who are faced with their mortality – like this incredible patient of my mom’s, Emily.

And I remember to keep living for the moment. Because we never know what’s next.

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The Soundtrack to My Life: The Early Years

For as much as music is a part of my life (any given time, I’m probably listening to music, thinking of a song, or humming an earworm), I don’t remember it being a vital part of my childhood. It was there, but it doesn’t stand out. We didn’t have nightly dance parties or stand around the piano and have sing-a-longs (thank god). We DID have a piano, and there’s always been one of those whether it was my mom’s or my grandfather’s. And I remember them playing and ‘playing’ with them.

(Insert adorable picture of me and my grandfather sitting side by side on the piano bench that I know exists I just don’t have possession of).

I remember a lot of Disney – I grew up in the golden age of Disney with wonderful Alan Menkin compositions like Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin, plus Lion King. And a LOT of this song. (I don’t even have a brother. I don’t even recall wanting to do this to my sisters…)

And after my parents went to see Phantom of the Opera, my dad used to play the Prologue/Overture for us. Mainly to attempt to scare the shit out of his young, impressionable children. (I finally saw the show live when I was 20 or so. I tensed up in my seat after the auctioneer said “illumination”… [Good parenting Father.])

I remember my mom listening to Kenny G. A lot of Kenny G. And that’s all we have to say about that. (It turns out her music taste is pretty good but nothing sticks other than the Kenny G. And the Partridge Family)

I also disliked a lot of my dad’s music. (Then I realized that George Strait is a god among men and Garth Brooks is incredibly talented.) (Strangely, the thing that comes to mind the most when I think of driving in my dad’s truck and what was on the radio is Paul Harvey. And the crop futures. Never mind, not strange when you know my dad…) But some of the things he introduced me to (probably way too young) are some of my favorite guilty pleasures: Meatloaf’s “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” in particular. (Seriously. I was in like 3rd grade. This was also the time my parents introduced me to Grease. Listening to the lyrics now, I wonder what they were thinking…)

Not long after, we got our first PC (now THAT is a monumental day that I can recall with stunning clarity). As PCs did (and still do), it came with a bunch o’ bloatware. Including an interactive CD that was going to be the wave of the future – you put it in the computer and it played the videos and had facts about the musician, or it played like a regular CD. All I can recall from this interactive CD is it had Celine Dion on it. And I was OBSESSED with this song. I performed this song and it rivaled the performance of Ms. Dion. (My first CDs were from Santa – he left me the *NSYNC debut and a Celine CD. I always wondered why the Celine. I think I’m getting it now…) (So you can visualize how much I love this song: I’m writing this in a Peets. And listening to this song. And I’m having to bite my lip to not start performing…)

And from there, it took off. I discovered MTV and started finding my own way in the music world.

But bits from my childhood pop up still: I love show tunes. I love genuine country. Amazing songs from the 80s are horrible guilty pleasures. And my music tastes span the gambit. So maybe my formative years have had more effect on my tastes than I thought…

Inspired by the prompt: What sort of music was played in your house when you were growing up? What effect, (if any) did it have on your musical tastes?


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Filed under About Me, Music, PostAWeek

This is one night I wish I could rewind.

Went by so fast oh so sweet/Make me wanna remake a memory/Wish I had me a time machine

(side note – what the hell Gary LeVox? You’re like…old now [nope, just looked him up on Wiki. He’s 43. He IS old. I’m old. I saw them for the first time in 2001. He would have been 30.])

Guys. I’ve become that girl. So ridiculously THAT girl.

During my blogging hiatus, I resorted to online dating. It was bad. SO BAD. So bad it could only be funny. (And I did get HOURS of entertainment out of the horribly bad messages. In fact, I was a little sad the day I disabled my account because now I don’t get that free entertainment). I can count on one hand the number of guys I even went out with. (I could even accidentally chop off a few fingers and still be able to count.)

Last August though – I got a message from a guy. He seemed to 1. have actually read my profile and 2. had a decent profile that made me want to know a little more about him (no trigger words talking about his excessive love of hiking/rock climbing/camping or working out; no mention of how he was there to hook up only; how enjoys chilling; or any other horrible things I’ve read that I can no longer recall…) So I messaged him back – and from there we’ve ‘talked’ almost every single day. Seven whole months of messaging, texting, face-to-face conversations (no phone – probably because of my massive aversion to the telephone. Seriously. I hate that thing. I’d rather FaceTime. And that says a lot because for one I have to do my hair and the other I don’t. And my hair can be a beast.)

After a few months, we actually got to meet up. Yes – it did take us an abnormally long time. Maybe I was scared. (I was) Maybe I was nervous. (I was) Maybe I was busy. (I was) Maybe I was making excuses because of the first two reasons (I did)

But then we did meet. And now it’s been four months of seeing each other almost every week. And I got told recently how happy I’ve been the last few months and maybe that’s true (it is) and maybe I’m having a lot of fun (I am) and maybe I play this song every weekend on my way home (I do) because I wish we could go back to the beginning of it because time flies by so fast when we’re together. (As Ted Mosby famously [recently {kinda creepily}] said I’m “remembering this”. Every stupid moment of puppy love.)

I can’t tell where this is going to go, but I know right now it’s fun and exciting and new and makes me happy. So far, they’ve all been nights I wish I could rewind…

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A long time ago…

we used to be friends. But I haven’t heard from you lately at all – “We Used to Be Friends”, Dandy Warhols

Or I used to write in this thing. I think. My last post was probably around the time the last Veronica Mars episode aired.

(Okay, obviously that’s not true. Because if it was that means there was an episode in December and that didn’t happen and I’m sad about that.)

BUTTT, in just a few short days, Marshmallows around the world will be rejoicing. As we have new, official, canon-approved stories. And unlike the Heroes fandom, we asked for it.

Veronica Mars was the bad ass that High-School Jessica wishes she could have been (without all of the drama of best friends dying and other story lines I won’t ruin for the ALL of you who haven’t yet been charmed by Ms. Mars and/or Mr. Echolls. I would normally put a summary here. But in this case – just watch it. I dare you to not like it.). Snarky, clever, quippy, got over the caring what people Unlike a lot of things I love, I don’t remember the first time I met Ms. Mars. I know that I was intreaqued by the smart, non-typical teen drama (even High School Jessica liked to at least pretend to be above those – little did she know that One Tree Hill is the best junk food ever) and couldn’t get enough. And for three short years, we had it all. Mystery, handsome, troubled bad-boys, quips and one liners, and a show that made you think. Year 3 the network thought Veronica was TOO smart and changed the format. Young, naive Jessica, who did not yet know how the industry worked and the pain it was to bring her did not realize that this was the death notice for the show. In one quick fell, my weekly dose of quirk and snark (Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls) were done.

And that was that – we were bound to live in fandom to figure out what happened to our beloved Neptune. (Especially because they left on a cliffhanger believing that maybe year 4 was possible. It wasn’t to be.)

For years, there were rumors, whispers – maybe, just maybe, WB would make a movie. Not a feature, just a movie-of-the-week. No, it was certainly going to be a feature. Nope, never going to happen, stop being delusional idiots. No, we can make it happen. And that was just in MY brain.

And then, last March, there were some mysterious tweets from the creator and star. And then – if we, the fans, could find $2,000,000 in our ash trays and in the couch cushions and our piggy banks and gather it in 30 days, we could get a movie.

It took us four. We used the rest to double that.

When all was said and done, Veronica Mars fans around the world collected $5.7 million to get a thing we dreamed we would never get.

And this week, on Pi day (Hahaha. get it? Veronica is a P.I.)

(I never claimed to be a comedienne), we get that dream. It’s like Christmas and my birthday wrapped into one.

I’ve never been this excited about a movie. The last thing I was this excited about was a book. But that was the end, this is the beginning.

Beginning of more Veronica Mars. Beginning of the set-in-their-ways entertainment industry to realize that the old models are getting to be beyond outdated.

We’ll pay for our movie tickets before the movie is even WRITTEN as long as we love the idea enough.

We’ll contribute our hard-earned money to you so we can be part of the process.We just expect

We may be a small fan base, but don’t underestimate our strength. Make our thing, we’ll pay for it.

I’ve been following this process not only as a fan, but as a person interested in the evolution of the industry (and how the internet shapes it). I can’t wait to see the outcome.

High-School Jessica can’t believe that she lives in a world where SHE’S the snarky one. And Veronica Mars made a triumphant return thanks to the internet.

What a magical world we live in.

(Back to regular scheduled posting: Wednesday/Thursday general posts, and Music  Monday posts(or this probably started as a Music Monday post. See the song up there. I swear I had good intentions. I don’t know how it turned into this discussion of a movie or current event or whatever else my brain managed to tie together. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.)

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Filed under Movies, Music, Television