Tag Archives: Music Monday

Do It Anyway

Call it surrender but you know that that’s a joke /And the punchline is you were never actually in control /But still, surrender anyway 

Guys, let’s be honest – this song was going to win me over based on the video with the combination of Anna Kendrick + Chris Hardwick + Fraggles. But then I heard the song – 1. the tune is incredibly catchy 2. the lyrics are kinda cool and Jessica’s across time appreciate them.

Go on and do it anyway 

It’s kinda become a motto.

At times.

I used to not do much. I was afraid of failing, so I wouldn’t try anything new. I was afraid of disappointing myself, or more importantly, someone else.

I still don’t always “do it anyway”. But I have to admit – I’m becoming more adventerous in my old age. I used to not be one to climb out on a limb. If things terrified me – that was it. I wasn’t going to do it, try it, go near it. I still have my hang ups – but I’m going to think twice about saying no.

Tell me what I said I’d never do /Tell me what I said I’d never say /Read me off a list of the things I used to not like but now I think are ok 

I used to be scared of flying. I don’t ENJOY it, but I don’t mind it.

If I didn’t know what a food was I wasn’t going to try it. Now I attempt to eat it – unless there’s peppers, mushrooms or onions. I still don’t like it.

I wanted to be comfortable in the middle. Now I strive to put myself out on a limb (one not far from the ground) to attempt to make myself stand out a little – at work and in life.

I used to hate sci-fi. Then I watched Eureka and Firefly and Battlestar Galalatica.

I was terrified going on a date (especially via an online site) – he was going to be a douche; he was just in it for physical aspects (or worse, he was and then immediately changed his mind after seeing me); I wasn’t going to be attracted to him. Okay – I’m not doing this with a lot of people; just one and it’s seemed to work out okay so far.

I was scared of going out of my comfort zone – doing something I hadn’t been doing my entire life.  I wasn’t progressing anywhere in my life. Because I was afraid of failing – now I’m willing to try. Even if it turns out it wasn’t the right thing in the end.

And if you’re paralyzed by a voice in your head /It’s the standing still that should be scaring you instead 


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Everything Will Be Just Fine

When I get back on land/Well I’ll never get my chance/Be ready to live and it’ll be ripped right out of my hands/Maybe someday we’ll take a little ride/We’ll go up, up, up and everything will be just fine

And we’ll go up, up, up/But I’ll fly a little higher…

You may have caught this on my hiatus. And if not, take the time to digest this story. I’ll be here, tissues in hand.

Rainn Wilson (Dwight from the Office) has this thing called Soul Pancake it’s a new media company that provides various platforms to explore topics such as spirituality, creativity, religion, arts, and philosophy. And one of the things that Soul Pancake has done is create this youtube series called My Last Days. It features people who know that the end is imminent, along with their friends and family. Zach Sobiech was one of the featured stories. He was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a bone cancer, at 14. At 17, Zach knew he was going to die.

It’s hard to know what you would do in a similar situation; how you would face your mortality at an age where you should be figuring out who you’re going to prom with; where you’re going to college; what you’re going to do with your life.

I have enough of a problem with my own mortality and I have a decade on Zach. And for me, the end isn’t spelled out. I have trouble living in the moment and enjoying it.

But Zach? Zach lived and enjoyed the moment. He went to school, he had a girlfriend, he had dreams. He didn’t stop living until the end.

One of his dreams was to be a recorded musician. He did that. And not only did he do that, but he wrote an incredible song – a goodbye to his friends and family. One that was without a doubt incredibly personal and intimate. But he shared it with the world.

And every time I listen to this song, I’m reminded of Zach’s grace and dignity. I appreciate the way that he acknowledges the darker, less happy moments. After all, it IS an incredibly frightening time – but you can tell he’s at peace. And I’m reminded of the same attitudes and the grace and dignity I’ve seen in others who are faced with their mortality – like this incredible patient of my mom’s, Emily.

And I remember to keep living for the moment. Because we never know what’s next.

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This is one night I wish I could rewind.

Went by so fast oh so sweet/Make me wanna remake a memory/Wish I had me a time machine

(side note – what the hell Gary LeVox? You’re like…old now [nope, just looked him up on Wiki. He’s 43. He IS old. I’m old. I saw them for the first time in 2001. He would have been 30.])

Guys. I’ve become that girl. So ridiculously THAT girl.

During my blogging hiatus, I resorted to online dating. It was bad. SO BAD. So bad it could only be funny. (And I did get HOURS of entertainment out of the horribly bad messages. In fact, I was a little sad the day I disabled my account because now I don’t get that free entertainment). I can count on one hand the number of guys I even went out with. (I could even accidentally chop off a few fingers and still be able to count.)

Last August though – I got a message from a guy. He seemed to 1. have actually read my profile and 2. had a decent profile that made me want to know a little more about him (no trigger words talking about his excessive love of hiking/rock climbing/camping or working out; no mention of how he was there to hook up only; how enjoys chilling; or any other horrible things I’ve read that I can no longer recall…) So I messaged him back – and from there we’ve ‘talked’ almost every single day. Seven whole months of messaging, texting, face-to-face conversations (no phone – probably because of my massive aversion to the telephone. Seriously. I hate that thing. I’d rather FaceTime. And that says a lot because for one I have to do my hair and the other I don’t. And my hair can be a beast.)

After a few months, we actually got to meet up. Yes – it did take us an abnormally long time. Maybe I was scared. (I was) Maybe I was nervous. (I was) Maybe I was busy. (I was) Maybe I was making excuses because of the first two reasons (I did)

But then we did meet. And now it’s been four months of seeing each other almost every week. And I got told recently how happy I’ve been the last few months and maybe that’s true (it is) and maybe I’m having a lot of fun (I am) and maybe I play this song every weekend on my way home (I do) because I wish we could go back to the beginning of it because time flies by so fast when we’re together. (As Ted Mosby famously [recently {kinda creepily}] said I’m “remembering this”. Every stupid moment of puppy love.)

I can’t tell where this is going to go, but I know right now it’s fun and exciting and new and makes me happy. So far, they’ve all been nights I wish I could rewind…

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The Ted Mosby Song

Ted Mosby is so much about me personified.

And this song is so much about Ted Mosby in music form.

So basically, if someone were to write a song about me, this would be the song they wrote.

(Probably NSFW. Unless your workplace is pretty lax about the f-word.)

Except, I’m not 29. Or 31. And these two personalities can be me hours apart. (I hope that isn’t a sign of mental issues)

Kate ‘Oates’ Micucci and Riki ‘Garfunkel’ Lindhome play the same woman two years apart – 29 and 31. It sounds a lot cheesier than it is, especially when you know that Garfunkel and Oates are musical comedians. 

But this song, as funny as it is, also hits home with a LOT of people that I know. We have days when we have the optimism of a 29-year-old:

Things unfold when they’re supposed to cause everything happens for a reason. It will happen for me when I’m not looking. He’ll just appear and I’ll just know and he’ll love me forever without any work. Who needs to try when things are meant to be.

and others with the cynicism of a 31-year-old:

There’s nobody left; I’m all alone. You’re such a f–king idiot. You think you’re so special because people tell you that now but that will stop and be replaced with looks of pity.

This song so taps into all of the feelings I’m having now – it’s more a commentary on being a woman in song form that being a ‘joke’.

But then there’s this gem of a line…For all of us that hate the oh-so ‘wise’ words we hear to make us feel better:

When God closes a door he opens a window…

The 31-year-old has the best comeback, one I wish I would have though of first:

You realize that’s a smaller opening. You used to be able to walk out the front door, now you have to climb through some slightly ajar window somewhere possibly falling like 5 stories to your death. That is not an upgrade.

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All I could do was love you hard and let you go.

I’m going to be a hipster for a minute, if you’d be so kind to indulge me.

I don’t know when I first found The Last 5 Years…2006? It was some time after it had first production.

But I certainly found it before the news about the movie with Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan came out. Although – hella excited about this. As much as I love my Norbert Leo Butz Jamie – he’s a little…old. Dream casting would be Aaron Tveit. I’ll take it though. I’m not complaining… and I’m getting back to the point.

The point being I loved The Last 5 Years before you did. *sticks tongue out*

It’s a beautiful one-act musical told in a truly unique way. It consists of ONLY two characters – Jamie and Cathy. Jamie starts the story at the beginning. Cathy starts it at the end. They meet in the middle. You can see how the relationship builds and breaks and it breaks your heart as it does. The characters alternate songs – so one minute you’re exuberantly happy with Jamie, then viewing the pain of a broken relationship with Cathy…and it goes on.

There isn’t a song that I don’t love. “Still Hurting” has gotten me through a break-up.

Jamie is over and where can I turn?/Covered with scars I did nothing to earn/Maybe there’s somewhere a lesson to learn/But that wouldn’t change the fact/That wouldn’t speed the time/Once the foundation’s cracked/And I’m/Still Hurting

My favorite from the one bootleg I’ve seen is “Nobody Needs to Know” – it’s when I fell in love with Norbert Leo Butz as an actor – and it’s when I hated Jamie.

Look at us, lying here/Dreaming, pretending/I made a promise and I took a vow/I wrote a story/And we changed the ending/Cathy, just look at me now!

“The Next Ten Minutes” is the mid-point of the story. Jamie and Cathy get closer in their story telling, meeting for a few brief moments in the middle, and then pass each other by.

Till the world explodes/Till there’s no one left/Who has ever known us apart

It’s a beautiful moment…and yet it still foreshadows what we have yet to see from Jamie. And caps off the heartbreak of Cathy’s story.

I love this musical and am so glad it’s getting a chance to be recognized in the ‘mainstream’. Just remember…I found it first.

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